Happiness Bus – The problem with chasing happiness

Here is a short note about happiness I wrote a while back. This is not really a to-do list or a guide. Just some points I had in mind and felt like sharing. You can find more articles on step-by step guides on reaching goals etc on my blog.

Happiness Bus

If you miss your bus, you wait for the next one, or you could try chasing it hoping you catch it at the next station, which it’s unlikely. But let’s say you do manage to catch it at the next station. Your journey would be a miserable, sweaty one. You will probably be coughing and trying to catch your breath for the rest of the journey and be totally put off by bus travel (I know this as I chased a bus for 15 minutes with a 30KG luggage and that was probably the last time I used that bus service)

The search for happiness is similar to catching this bus. The bus could also, for example be, having £1M in your bank account, or, having a house in Beverly Hills. If all you do in life is to solely achieve these “dreams”, then you would be mentally and physically too exhausted to actually truly appreciate your dream.

We’ve all been told that we need to find happiness. That achieving a goal will give us happiness. Having certain amount of money in bank account will give us happiness etc.

We are constantly being reminded that we are not happy, and need to read book X,Y Z to understand what happiness is. Keep hearing if you do this or that activity you will become happy. We try, we feel happier for a while, and then we crash back to starting point. Keep being reminded that what we are is not good enough. Our caveman mind cares too much about what others think. We try so hard to be accepted by people around us. The caveman mind doesn’t understand we’ve moved on and don’t really need other’s approval to survive in a tribe. There will always be people who hate the guts of you. There will always be people who think you look weird or are ugly. There will always be someone who will call you an idiot. There will always be a person who thinks you are fake. There’s always someone out there who will think you are fat or too thin. In fact, there will be thousands of these people if not millions. However, there are also thousands and millions that think you are awesome.

The moment you stop trying to please people, the moment you stop giving a damn, you will instantly feel happier. Once you try practicing this concept, you will likely face FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) as well. For example, you will start thinking, what if people abandoned me and stop inviting me to parties. What if my boss doesn’t promote me if I don’t pretend his jokes are funny! It’s very crucial to acknowledge the feeling and then push it back somewhere in your mind. You won’t feel happy if you respond to FOMO.

It’s a cliché but, life is really short! If you are lucky, you will probably have another 60 healthy years on this planet. Let’s put that in perspective, our ancestors have been around for 6 million years, and the modern human keeps evolving. If you live to be 100, you would have been part of the evolution for only 0.001%. Do you really think people will care about you in 300 years from now? Most likely no one will remember you. The planet as we know it may be gone in 300 years. Who knows! So why not just enjoy the ride while you’re here? Don’t do something you don’t want to do! Don’t do things you don’t enjoy! Don’t be the sheep in the society. Don’t let the media brainwash you with their propaganda on what is success and what isn’t. Be very selective on opinions you take into consideration. Don’t get hooked on short term motivations which will keep you hype for a few days then throw you back in the deep end of the well.

Majority of our decision makings are based on money these days. I believe money is an important part of life, however not to a point that you live to make money. You have such limited time on the planet that you are way better off not having money than working years in something you hate. Money cannot bring happiness but lack of it can make you miserable. It seems I am contradicting myself over and over again, but I am not. I am trying to convey a message here.

I once herd this quote somewhere, “If you are ONLY driven by money, it will make it difficult to build a lifestyle on YOUR terms”* Take a moment to think about this. It’s so true!

I enjoy making money, but I am not motivated by it. I can live happily without having substantial amounts of cash. Most things I enjoy doing don’t cost a penny. E.g. meditation at the beach. Going for a run, reading a good book, laughing hard with my friends and family over silly things.

You need to understand that we are not limited to one specific location either. People are so obsessed with living in larger cities, or a specific country, no matter what. This goes back to FOMO.

There are over 200 countries in the world and thousands of cities to choose from. You are not limited to this one location. Only fear is holding you back. Fear of what exactly? You don’t even know.

After sleeping time, eating, shopping, internet browsing, etc are subtracted from your day, you only have around 8-10 hours to use (If you are super-efficient). There is not much you can do in this 10 hours.

There are locations in the world that you’ll be able to achieve 80% of things you want with 20% of your current cost + more friendly people. You just need to be more creative. We are moving on. The age of staying in one location to fulfil a specific job is coming to an end. You either jump on the next bus or keep waiting. The time is now. You won’t miss much once you’ve taken the leap. Setup a lifestyle you don’t need to escape from*. If you are getting excited for the weekend to begin or get depressed when weekends are over, then you are not doing it right. In most job roles you are replaceable. Most companies don’t really care about you. Work harder on yourself, not harder on your job*

Last but not least, drink plenty of water, eat good food, avoid sugary snacks, and avoid processed food with tons of artificial crap and don’t forget to love and flow!


*NOTE: If I hear or read a quote or statement I like, I usually add it to my notebook of “stuff to read”. However at times I cannot recall where I read / heard it from. I apologies if you are not quoted. I try making it clear it’s not my quote

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